


To Wake, Perchance to Dream

by lha



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Angst, Gen, Nightmares, Pain, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, S1:E5 - Choose Your Pain, Sickfic, post-episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-20 01:30:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12422229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lha/pseuds/lha
Summary: Gabriel Lorca is a man who has seen and done terrible things in the dead of the night and they haunt him.Set after episode 5 so *SPOILERS* up till then.





	To Wake, Perchance to Dream

Gabriel Lorca paused and looked up through the window of the stolen vessel before entering the final command and blowing up his own ship. He couldn’t tear his eyes away as she exploded, seams bursting and entire decks decompressing as his carefully placed torpedo struck her unshielded flank. He watched and listened over the comm link as his entire crew died at his hand and waited either for his small craft to be subsumed by the explosion or for the Klingons to realise what had happened. Before either these things happened however, the Buran’s warp core breached with a blinding wave light, the shuttle was thrown clear and Gabriel Lorca sat bolt upright in bed a scream dying on his lips.

Whether it was the migraines that caused the nightmares, or the nightmares that resulted in him waking up in the most debilitating agony he wasn’t certain but the outcome was the same. It was almost as though he could feel the heat of the explosion basking him, his eyes burning fiercely despite the darkness as cold sweat poured down his back. He was gasping for air, trembling with the contained energy but couldn’t seem to bring himself to move for fear of making the pain worse. Stillness wasn’t helping though and it was becoming increasingly likely that last night’s hasty repast was about to make a second appearance. 

It was more of a scramble than a dash to the head and he stumbled into the doorway only to fall to his knees in front of the toilet. With each retch he gripped tighter to at the rim, fresh waves of agony seemed to explode behind his eyes till he couldn’t seem to hold his head up any longer. The distant noise of a door opening seemed unnaturally loud but it took so long to process that by the time he realised that someone was in his quarters, they were almost upon him.

“Captain?” the voice of the doctor was soft in the other room but Gabriel couldn’t seem to make even the smallest voluntary noise in response. There must have been another lag then though, as the next thing he was aware of there was a gentle hand on his shoulder causing him to jerk uncoordinatedly away. “Easy there,” Culber urged him, “your biometric readings jumped off the chart and when you didn’t respond to hails I came down.” The noise that slipped from his own mouth was an undignified groan and his head rolled to the side as he began to gag again. There was really nothing left to bring up but that didn’t seem to matter.

“Just a minute” the doctor said in barely a whisper, “and I’ll give you something to help with the pain. I just need to run some checks.” The quiet beeping of a medical scanner followed, and after a moment Gabriel tried cautiously pushing himself into a more upright seated position. It took a moment for the world to settle beneath him, but when it did he tried to open his eyes again. While his quarters were still in darkness, even that seemed to much and he snapped them shut again. “Here,” Culber said, pressing a syringe against his neck. The press of the cold metal and the feel of the medication entering his heated blood suddenly made him shiver uncontrollably.

“Thank you,” he managed after much too long.

“Well you can thank me properly by telling me what happened that meant you ended up in this state.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean doctor.”

“And I’m quite sure that you do,” he relied dryly, “but I’ll not push it just now.”

“I woke up in the middle of the night with a migraine, Doctor,” Gabriel stated coldly, “not pleasant but hardly worth instigating a major investigation.” 

“It’s your third one in the two weeks since you were taken prisoner. I’d be negligent if I didn’t insist that we do some further tests. We should be able to stop them well before this stage even if we can’t prevent them entirely.”

“If you are about to suggest I have my eyes cut out, Doctor Culber,” he ground out, but it seemed that anger was not advisable in his current condition as another flash of pain ricocheted across the inside of his skull. He’d raised his hands to his eyes before he could really think, groaning as he pressing the heels of his hands into his sockets.

“I am well aware that you are not a fan of that idea,” Culber said, his tone returning to the quiet calm of before, “so let’s not jump to any conclusions. Here,” the medic pressed a blissfully cool cloth into his hands, helping him shape the fabric over his eyes. Another of the cloths appeared on the back of his neck and Gabriel was almost certain nothing had felt so good in a long time. They sat like that for some time, until he had forgotten himself enough that he was beginning to drift into sleep. 

“Shall we try and get you back into bed?” the doctor asked eventually.

“‘time is it?” Gabriel asked, peeling the cloth from his eyes.

“A little after oh-four-hundred hours.” 

“Hardly worth it now...” he yawned.

“Oh no, I’m not compromising on this Captain. You’re going to bed, and you’re not to report to duty until after you’ve had a full spectrum of tests run.”

“Doctor, your diligence is admirable but just in case it had slipped your notice, we’re at war. I can’t simply write off a day…” He had made it to his feet but was swaying alarmingly, the tell tale distortions to his vision returning. 

“Not the entire day perhaps,” Culber said matter of factly. “I’ll let Commander Saru know that you won’t be reporting for Alpha shift and we can take it from there.” He wanted to protest. He wanted pull rank and put the doctor back in his place and it wouldn’t have been have been the first time but this time, he just couldn’t summon the energy. Instead, he allowed the younger man to help him across the room towards his bed and to lay back down. Gabriel was drifting as soon as his head hit the pillow and he fell back asleep to the sounds of Culbert quietly collecting his supplies, and the screams of his crew carrying across the void.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks as always for reading - I'd love to hear your thoughts here or over on twitter where I'm @LHA_again  
> Lx


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